Inbetween

Adj.  in-between – being neither at the beginning nor at the end in a series; “adolescence is an awkward in-between age”; “in a mediate position”; “the middle point on a line.”

Inbetween. The word doesn’t even look like its grammatically correct. As if there should be a hyphen separating both the “in” and the “between.” Inbetween is a place I find myself lately. One moment, I can be at peace, reflecting on the goodness of God and His blessings in our lives. Yet, a minute later, my mind starts to spin like a washing machine full of both mundane and “big questions”:

What will we do for dinner tonight? Tacos are always a hit.

Did I remember to pay the utility bill? I’m pretty sure I did, but better go back and double check.

What exactly struck such a chord at my last counseling session to elicit “that” reaction?

Shouldn’t I be past “that” reaction?

Am I doing something wrong?

Since my frame of reference at this point in my life largely consists of kids’ movies, I think this sums it up pretty nicely:

All joking aside, other times, Inbetween hits closer to home. The conflicting emotions of ids into bed, all the while thinking about an ex-coworker whose kids will never feel the embrace of their father ever again. Life has a way of crystallizing that which is most precious in the cruelest of ways.

Author and speaker Margaret Feinberg points out that “The land of Inbetween [is] a place of blind trust. It’s where the pedals of faith meet the narrow road of fortitude and where movement is demanded though there’s no place to go. The worst part about this land isn’t the uncertainty or frustration that accompany it—it’s that God likes it when you’re there.” Without the land over Inbetween, what else could point us to a dependence on God? Would an oasis still seem inviting in the absence of the desert?

When I feel as if my questions are falling on deaf ears, I need to take comfort that sometimes, the journey is more important than the destination. That every question does not need to be satisfied with an immediate answer. That sometimes, it is not knowledge I truly seek, but rather, a deep desire for love and connection with the One who knew of me before I even existed.

May God grant us grace and courage for each of our journeys ahead.

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